Fired (still in denial)

Aww, this so sucks. I'm sitting there in the hairdresser salon having a bit of a splurge to ease the stress levels and I'm spending more money than I can really afford, but that's ok because I have a bunch of shifts lined up for after QPAS... and I recieve a phone call... "hello" and it is work. Basically, they ask me to leave (fire me) because they have apparently got too many people on staff now. So I kinda choke up a little and feel incredibly guilty about my hair splurge and they try to justify it and crap on about how it is just because other people want more work yada yada...

Then I tell my hairdresser and we complain about my work for awhile and I feel so mad. I just want to cry. Why has this happened on top of everything else? Why me? What did I do wrong? And then I began to think about what I may have done wrong, which really wasn't anything. Seriously I put everything into this job and worked hard and they said I was doing fine... so I was a bit in denial... I've never been fired before, for whatever reason.

But I'm actually ok. I'm reading this book about relieving pressure and it talks about how most people live by cause and effect (if I do this, this will happen...) and so immediately I thought "it was because I did this and so I got fired or I didn't do that" but actually that is not God's way of doing things... see just because we work really hard at something, doesn't mean we will get it... Just because I put everything into this job, doesn't mean I won't get fired... so for this reason, I'm just like, "fine God, guess I won't be putting anything in the collection bag for awhile, but that is alright coz you already know I have nothing to give. " And that was not sarcastic... I sometimes feel bad when I cannot give financially to God because I have nothing but He understands...

By the way, my hairdresser thought work (ex) were really horrible and gave me a $10 discount. That was really nice of her.