I am budaful, it's twoo!

This blog is actually only being written for one person in particular and she knows who she is because I have had lots of conversations with her recently. However, I am posting it because I think it is something that could be helpful to anyone who might have been feeling like this, and of course it is always important to be totally real with each other.

So life has been tough recently and I always find myself asking the age old question: "why me? what have I done to deserve this? when will it all end?" I've learnt a truth - it's not just me, it's everyone, I haven't done anything horrible to deserve it and unfortunately it will never end. Life is tough, that's just how it goes, although I can make it easier by allowing God to have the veto in my life. However this is not the point.

For a long time I have found myself battling to accept my undeniable beauty in Christ. Much of the pain and hurt I have inflicted upon myself has been because I simply loathed everything I was, am and will be. No more. At youth group camp, our pastor actually had a conversation with me and amongst a lot of hard, but helpful things he said to me, the one that cut deepest was when he looked my in the eye and said "wake up everyday and tell yourself you are beautiful" or as his 2 year old daughter says so adorably "your budaful, it's twoo."

So now I have been battling this concept of beauty. What does it mean? Does it apply to me? Is it physical or mental or emotional? Is it the things I do and say? Can I really say such a compliment about me?

Well today I have finally realised (thanks to God) that I am in fact very beautiful, because He made me like this. Cliche, I know, but hey, it's twoo. To be beautiful is to love myself - to love my body, to love my soul and to walk in confidence that I have a purpose, yet not to be conceited. It means that I don't want to be put on a pedastal, I don't need recognition, I don't even need heaps of friends and to be adored by all. All I need in this life is God and my purpose in Him. Everything else (which is actually so much) is His much too generous blessings! Thanks and praise be to Him who created me as an adorable baby, sweet child and one day, beautiful woman!!!

I am budaful, it's twoo!